von and human technology interactions

someone called me a "slut".
this gave me time to think about everything i have been doing.
i am liberal, yes. however i cannot imagine myself being a "slut".
i am not a "slut"
however, that's what he told me.
he barely even knows me.
one day spent with him,
one second to judge me.
i am not a "slut"
criticism is just mean.. and plain dumb.
but he did.
criticize, label, classify and discriminate.
you're rude.
now i'm torn.

"people like you make individuals like me all the more jaded and give this whole-gay-falling-in-and-out love all fucked up. thanks for messing with my mind"
and yeah.. i know i'm shit.. coz i feel so.. a fucking liar.. and i had to mess your life too.. i'm very sorry. no... sorry doesn't even pass for a wird that could let me be forgiven. i can never be forgiven for what i did.. i know i'm audacious.. and it's my fault.. i had to set everything right once and for all.. and feelings hurt isn't something that i can prevent.. it has alot to do in making everything right.

"you think i'm just someone who could play with?"
i never wanted to.. i never intended to..

"you could have been honest that you are dating others"
and i thought it would only hurt you if i did.. but now it's worse.. now i wonder, why i couldn't do such a simple task..

" i more than hate you right now"
hating me won't do the trick.. you could kill me if you ant to.. just so i can make it up to you.. but here's something i want to tell you.. i really liked you. i made every second count.. coz you weren't really there. i never had time that i could spend with you and you didn't too.

i had to think. i had to choose. my choice involved someone getting hurt because of my audacity, infidelity, and dishonesty.. it involved you.. but that was my dilemma... i couldn't go on lying so that i couldn't hurt you.. i had to do it..

i'm sorry.. i am shit.. i'm a bastard.. i'm the worst... and i'll change.. this i promise.. it's the only thing that i can do to make it up to you.. to be a better person..

i liked you. i never lied about that. but it just so happens that i've fallen for someone else.. and with that person.. i know i can do it..

we'll learn from this. i will. i'm sorry. i don;t need to be forgiven.. have a nice life..

*i'm a bastard.. now everyone can hate me. it's alright.. i deserve it..

Saying I love you is not the words I want to hear from you. It's not that I want you not to say, but if you only knew how easy it would be to show me how you feel; more than words is all you have to do to make it real, then you wouldn't have to say that you love me, cos I'd already know. What would you do if my heart was torn in two? More than words to show you, feel that your love for me is real. What would you say if I took those words away? Then you couldn't make things new just by saying I love you. More than words. Now I've tried to talk to you and make you understand that all you have to do is close your eyes and just reach out your hands and touch me. Hold me close don't ever let me go.

i just love this song. ahehe. cheesy? yes, but still, there's that tinsy wincy bit of sentimental reason to keep it lcoked up in my heart. i think i'm falling for someone. not sure though. but i really really like him. ehehe. every day just isn't complete without him. :p